I think I know why I'm resistant to this whole xanga thing.  In my heart of hearts, I think of myself as a nonconformist.  Is xanga just a fad, with me jumping on the bandwagon (albeit late)?

Yet I see truth to living my life out in front of others.  Even in this widely trendy means of a xanga.  In doing so, may the wondrous grace of my Lord and Savior be all the more evident.  As humans, we often hide behind a nice veneer.  I am guilty of this.  Lurking within ourselves is our fallen nature.  I know I carry a huge amount of pride, and the Lord is in the business of chipping away at it.

Take for instance my decision today to show my high school Sunday School class my 5th grade yearbook in which I had scribbled over people's pictures my one word opinion of them.  Needless to say, I am ashamed of my former rashness in judgement.  My reason for showing my yearbook falls in line with my philosophy in youth ministry--to live my life authentically in front of my kids so that I may boast all the more of Christ in my life.  This is not to say I don't still judge people today, but God has taught me what it means to love others.  And He continues to teach me.

I am a broken person.  And it takes a lot for a perfectionist such as myself to admit.  But I am dearly loved.  I can't quite get that, but who can ever explain the mysteries of our God?