Hope.

So this is goodbye.  For real this time, after months of saying my  various goodbyes.  I almost don't know what to say now that the time has come.  I will say this: my heart's prayer has been that I would grow in my dependence on Him.  This means that I must be continually stripped--for the testing of our faith develops perseverance--perseverance character, and character, hope.

Who, or what, do you hope in?  When life comes at you full force in a mad game of chicken, daring you to concede, who do you run to?  I hope your answer is our Rescuer. 

My preparations came to a screeching halt when I got a call from my friend WK yesterday.  Her voice didn't quite sound right, and she went on to explain that she had some bad news.  JC had passed away.  My voice went cold.  What? Are you sure??  It couldn't be real.

Not only was this unreal, it seemed to me also cruel.  JC had such a beautiful spirit, one that followed hard after G...one that took her to pursue his calling overseas to the Philippines.  She had been there a month, and had loved it.  I remember sitting across from her during MN's pho party and admiring her zeal.  In subsequent months I grew to admire her love for G in reading her xanga posts. 

I couldn't concentrate after hearing the news.  My own preparations seemed secondary.  I couldn't help but think that this was her exactly a month ago, getting ready to leave. 

But I can't sustain a cruel image of our Father.   I put my hope in Him.   My life is in His hands.  He has appointed all my days.  And He walks with me.  Julie, this I have learned from you...to love my Savior with a reckless passion.  Thank you for your life and example.