Look Before Crossing.

Stepping outside my door each day for the past 2 years used to kick into gear what I call my automatic defensive mechanism.  Call it a will to survive.  This is what is meant when people say they're living on edge all the time.   That pretty much was my life overseas.  Life outside my sanctioned apartment was madness; a small joy could be avoiding trailing the manure truck on your morning commute.

I found myself complaining about the lawnmower early in the mornings here.  But when I got to thinking about it, heck, I should thank the Almighty that there's even grass.  I mean, anything green was a delight to me overseas.  I should revel that here green is in equal abundance to the blue in the sky.

I ran a red light today.  I blame it on the horizontal orientation of traffic lights in Texas.  Would it hurt to go vertical?  I felt such amazing guilt, and then complete relief that I didn't get caught, or hit for that matter.  Overseas, I don't think this would have gotten to me (running a red).  I see I've reassumed my consciousness for breaking the law.

It's a funky reality to be back sometimes.