The Art of Conversation.
I don't mean to outdo Miss Manners. I really don't. This will be my last entry on etiquette for awhile (promise!). Today's topic is how to make conversation. It really bugs me when men and women alike are bad conversationalists. I know this is rather snobbish because when it comes to awkward, yours truly is the first that comes to mind. But since I'm on my rant I might as well finish. Top 5 things that irk me during conversations:
- Shifty eyes. "Shifty" kind of implies devious, and I don't necessarily mean that here. I'm referring to lack of eye contact with the speaker. Why is it so hard for some people to maintain eye contact? There's something wrong when a person can't look you in the eye. I don't think I'm that scary, am I? (Don't answer that).
- Looking too intently. This is the opposite of #1. Don't be creepy. Please don't. It's scary when you look like your following the conversation a little too closely.
- Cutting someone off. This is, in effect, to feign comprehension by cutting the speaker short by saying something like "yeah, yeah, yeah." Well wait a minute. I didn't even finish my sentence yet. My next sentence could be I want Bozo the Clown to be President. Wait until I'm finished before you agree. Especially irritating when combined with #1.
- You're boring. I don't have a better descriptor for what I mean by 'boring.' You're boring if you have flat intonations. You're boring if you can't manage to redirect a question back to the speaker. You're boring if you only talk about some esoteric subject matter that few care about. You're boring if you don't smile or crack a joke. A little humor, people!
- Talk too much* I'd love to get a word in edgewise with these people, but they seem to own the spotlight all to themselves. I'm not here to compete with you, talk all you want. But if it bugs me you've likely bugged others, too.
* The asterisk is to say that I am guilty of this when I feel particularly awkward with someone. That is, I tend to babble about this and that if I can avoid the even more awkward silence that comes when the conversation comes to a standstill. And I'm not a babbler. So that bugs me.
Here concludes Miss Manners' entry on the art of conversation - perhaps needing the title, How Not to Converse with Someone, namely me :).