Let's admit it. The era of the selfie has not revealed anything new about human nature. Within each of us is an inherited selfishness from birth (1 Corinthians 15:21-22). To declare that "He must increase but I must decrease" (John 3:30) is admittedly hard to replicate. In Galatians 2:20, the Apostle Paul's offers his perspective:

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

From this I learn:

1. My old self has been crucified. The gospel makes its statement in my life by declaring who's in charge. The old is gone, and the new has come (2 Corinthians 5:17).

2. Yet my current state is the flesh. The flesh is still a part of me. There is a choice, nevertheless, to live by faith. We put to death the deeds of the flesh through the help of the Spirit (Romans 8:13)

3. I'm loved - and if that's not enough, Christ demonstrated His love by giving His life for me. And the Father so wonderfully reminds us that we are His - "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are." (1 John 3:1a) Knowing we are loved compels us to live not for ourselves but for Him who for our sake died and was raised (2 Corinthians 5:14).

I do not pretend to be liked by everyone, but I certainly want to be liked by everyone. How to be winsome? The Apostle Paul said that he made himself a servant to win more people (1 Corinthians 9:19). It's clear Scripture has principles that we can lean on for being winsome, with the purpose of more being saved. 1. Realize first that people can be won over. In an age of relativism and political correctness, we sometimes ignore that people can be persuaded towards the gospel, and our behavior has something to do with this (cf. 1 Peter 3:15).

2. Understand that being winsome is something made, not something had. The Apostle Paul stated that he had to make himself a servant - I take this to mean it was a conscious decision to be all things to all people, and not automatic.

3. Know your motivation. "I do this all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in their blessings." (1 Corinthians 9:23). My selfish motivation to win people must be checked. Because if I'm honest with myself, I need people to like me because it feeds my need for acceptance. It's only when we are caught up in a greater vision that our winsomeness finds its deepest purpose.