In Psalm 90, Moses declares that from “everlasting to everlasting” (v.2) God is God and beyond human accounting of time: “a thousand years in your sight are as yesterday when past” (v.4). Moses asserts that God’s wrath and anger are within His authority (v.11). He judges His people for their sin (vv.8-9) and we are but toast (translation mine). All this would point to us being given our just due were it not for the bookends to this psalm. It begins by highlighting God’s presence among His people throughout all generations (v.1) and the entire last section (vv.12-17) is a plea for God’s help in the here in the now (v.11, 15) - that is, in the dailyness of our routines (v.14), and in the activities of the present (v.17). How bold then is this prayer, knowing that though God is above all and infinite, we nevertheless ask that He be merciful to us in our present days, even in the mundane.

I realize this post (er,...ramble) about how time passes likely marks a rite of passage as a full-fledged adult, not just young adult. And this rite of passage is one that is certainly earned with experience, of which there is much variety. When I look back, sometimes the past feels strangely distant. Like, I can't believe that those experiences were reality at one point, and now they feel so far removed. So it got me to think - ought I to feel more nostalgic? I passed this year on going to my high school reunion and found myself with absolutely zero desire to go. That part of my past seems just that - my past. Some of us hold on to the past and live as if the past is still the present. And then there's the opposite extreme of completely ignoring the past like it never happened.

I think there can be middle ground here. My high school life certainly is not forgotten. It was a revelation of who I am at the core (the good, the bad, and mostly ugly). If those years had been more positive, would I have more desire to go back to relive them? Certainly. But one of the lessons you learn as an adult is that life goes on. You've changed. And you can't just go back to the way things were.

I've learned to remember the past and allow it to inform the present. But I do not allow it to dictate my present. I'm also very grateful that God saves us from our past sin so that we can live in present victory. And this to lead us to future glory, which at present, is something we can all eagerly long for.

As a child, I was always the youngest in my class - just as I turned another year older, everyone was turning the next year older. And so I was perpetually behind, helpless to do anything about it. As an adult I realize that I have a similar obsession with time. I still feel I'm behind my peers in the so-called progression of life. If you had told me ten years ago where I'd be in life, I would have been despondent that time would not have revealed more. There is another sense of time that occupies my heart in a completely different way. It's the sense that eternity exists, and that this linear progression through life is indeed headed somewhere. God, who is atemporal, is completely outside of time, yet reveals himself throughout the thread of human history. He has made everything beautiful in its time, and I persist knowing that what God does endures forever. He can be trusted! Amen.