Marathon Log.08.  Miles logged: 12

No beating around the bush on this one--I'm hurtin' after this latest run.  I was concerned going in, knowing that my calf was hurting me after last week's run (it might even have been after that dumb decision of mine to race that other runner during one of my personal runs).  This is the point of my training when I'm starting to really feel it.  Mel, Wilma, and I earlier agreed that this hasn't cost us anything yet.  I think that the honeymoon is officially over.

It takes a lot for me to admit that I'm hurting.  I'm the quintessential first born--stubborn to the core and fiercely independent.  I'm also a perfectionist to boot.  Yesterday I came to the realization that I've been giving so much of myself to other people that when the time comes to receive, I'm almost too flabberghasted to consider what that means.  A lot of it stems from who I am called to be at work--I'm the problem fixer, the one that students go to in crisis.

The thing about having to be the strong one is that it takes a toll.  Finally yesterday I broke down in tears realizing that the greatest Help that I have shunned is from my Father.  I see how if I don't come before Him in truth that I diminish the grace that is made available to me through His Son.   

So I am human, after all. 

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