Home Sweet Home?

So this is home now...a dusty confusion of people, cars, and oh yes, plenty of bikes.  I have long awaited writing this entry, and am eager to convey a bit of what has been on my heart in recent days.

I miss home.  And by home, I mean home home.  There's nothing as splendid as the familiar, where everything is understood by means of law and reason. Here there is seemingly no order, or perhaps I bring too much demand for my rights into this place.  I find that I am silenced here without the language capacity and am increasingly annoyed when locals try to pin me into a box to no avail.  Am I Ch.?  Am I straight up American?  Korean?  Then the question inevitably comes to my teammate Anita: So what's up with your mute friend?  (Okay, so that's not the literal translation, but that's what it feels like...)

I struggle with an attitude of humility and find that my joy flickers on and off.  Our first night here a terrible stench permeated our apartment.  It was such a foul smell, and though it was humorous, it made me long for home.  I've managed to ride my bike ("shao lan") along the dusty streets without incident, but let me just say that I know what it means that my life is in Greater Hands.  Trying to figure out the 'system' and way of life here is also difficult.  We've been scolded for not knowing the rules, and then pitifully asked where we come from.  We are strangers here, no doubt. 

All beginnings are hard.  And while I sometimes inwardly loathe how life is conducted here, I am encouraged by a Greater Purpose.  This is home for me now, and I know that Joy accompanies it. 

(P.S. I love your comments...just pls. remember to post with discretion.  Thank you :)