Humble Pie.

It's almost a given that in order to survive out here you're gonna have to eat your share of humble pie.  Unfortunately, there are moments when I feel like I've eaten enough humble pie, and when served yet another slice I want to cry foul.

The irony of this all came to a head this week as I was helping one of the office staff translate my resume.  You could call my resume lengthy--not because I claim expertise--teaching ESL involves a lot of part-time stints, and my resume resembles a smorgasboard more than anything else.  Still, it makes me feel good about who I am (oh the vanity!).  As I realized all that I've left behind, I began to think of what sort of competence I can claim here.  Let me think...um...that would be a big fat ZERO.  Translation = LOSER. 

Forget that I get compliments for being gentle, patient, and humble.  When pressed to the core, my anger seethes.  This week I nearly lost it as the gatekeepers at the park where my school is located wouldn't let me in without buying a ticket even though I had my I.D.  Apparently, the date was 'expired' (It wasn't).  "Mai piao" they said.  I began to boil with anger, knowing that if I had a white face I would be let in.  I began to argue, and then some divine graciousness swept through and I took out my wallet, bought a ticket and managed a thanks with gritted teeth.

As I'm here so much of me wants to justify who I am.  Dude, don't you know that in America I'm x, y, and z?    But oh how the tears flowed when these words were given to me: "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that JC's power may rest on me.  That is why, for JC's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."