Learning to Speak.

By all means I should be this second language learning guru, given that this is what I do as a 'profession.'  But when the tables are turned and I'm forced into the role of 'learner,' what emerges is this rather delicate language ego. 

This delicate language ego is compounded by my already fragile self-esteem and penchant for perfectionism in a most horrible way.  I find that I am often reduced to mere grunts here, or just saying nothing when spoken to (until I realize that 'oh--did that person just ask me something?').  I'm also finding that the little Canto that I know is serving as an interference with my acquisition of the main dialect around here.  I often catch myself speaking some wierd concoction of Canto, English, and Ch.  Since all languages are located in the same area of the brain, sometimes I'll also start thinking about the word in German.  Aiya, I'm so confused!

Part of learning a language is also developing an identity in the 'target' language.  I'm not quite sure who I am when I speak Ch.  I don't quite feel myself yet when I speak.  I think I come across as a more kind and gentle self in Ch. just because I'm trying so darn hard to be polite and in so doing, appeal for bit more gr'ce. This contrasts greatly to the ruffian-brand of the language spoken around these parts.

Empathy for my students?  I have tons.