Being courageous is largely subjective - meaning what takes courage for some is old hat to another. For someone as fearful as I, courage is always in tall order. There's a want to shrink back and avoid something all together than risk failure, and ultimately, rejection. Needless to say, there are things I need to work out. But there are moments when I feel a rush of adrenaline and have new found courage to face the things that once were fearful. I remember thinking that I could never ride a bike with proficiency in China. But one week into my stay I was biking twenty minutes all the way to school, and pretty soon after steering my two-wheeler in the middle of sandstorms and stealthily behind moving livestock. Or I think of smaller successes of initiating conversation in a room full of strangers (scary!) - as a recent graduate and new hire in the business world, I was faced with a lunchroom (well, more like fancy lunchroom) of mostly high level execs, and me the junior ranking marketing manager. It was worse than high school, but I stumbled my way through it.

At present I'm trying to feel more courageous about following through on my convictions. I feel so lame because convictions should be easy to act on - after all, they are convictions for a reason. But I often get so timid and can't muster the courage to push through, and end up waffling in a sea of indecision. Sigh.

"Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward...But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls." Hebrews 10:36, 39