I got a lot of things done last year. I feel good about that. They say being successful requires a fanatical type of discipline. I have this discipline in spurts, but in subsequent moments am mired in complacency. It's like I'm driving along at high speed only to put on the brakes completely. I've had to deal with this complacency at various moments, including getting into this new year. What's behind this complacency? I can think of a few things:

1. Fear. I'm very much swayed by what I see (or don't see) in front of me. I think of Peter, who when asked to get out of the boat and walk towards Jesus in the midst of the storm, was swayed more by the storm than his Savior (Matthew 14:22-33).

2. Overanalyzing. I can't help but always be analyzing something. When something doesn't make sense I'll balk and question its validity. Nicodemus was very much in this mindset, and was perhaps overanalyzing in his exchange with Jesus on being born again (John 3:1-22). In overanalyzing I forget to allow for faith.

3. Mistrust. I suppose this could be defined as a lack of faith, but really it's a misplaced trust in self over God. Thus it becomes mistrust because if I ask myself if I really trust God - like the kind it says in Proverbs 3:5 with all my heart - I'm not sure I can honestly say that I do. Mistrust makes me unwilling to move forward and allow seeds of doubt.

Now that I've broken down this complacency, it's time to deal with it...

It's the beginning of a new year, and according to statistics, about half of us Americans make resolutions. By definition, resolutions are firm decisions to do or not do something. They are made with intent and require determination to pull off. No wonder the success of achieving resolutions is quite small. I don't make resolutions. At least not officially. As a perfectionist I can't be bound to something unless I can guarantee its success. Such is my downfall. I boast about how fast I am at making day to day decisions, but when it comes to something very personal, I hem and haw - mostly out of fear.

I realize that without being resolute about anything, there is no need for faith. I admit that the faithless life is attractive at times - faith is work! But I take comfort knowing He who began a good work in me will carry it to completion. The perfectionist in me would work it out on her own accord, and ultimately fail, joining the rest of the 92% who resolve each year without success.