Pet Peeve.

This is a spin-off from my last entry.  My friend JJ once left the table during a conversation of guys-only talking about certain "tests" that they put women through on first dates to verify their qualities.  I wasn't nearly as offended as JJ but I did think that it was rather dumb.  For those who require a "test" to figure out a woman's qualities is just...dumb.

I propose an alternate solution if you really want to know if a person is quality.  And the basic deal is to look at how the person treats other people.  One of my greatest pet peeves is when a person can't even make the most basic of efforts to just greet someone.  Say hi.  Acknowledge a person's presence.  It ticks me off when you enter a room, and can't even manage a hello to the people in the room, much less the host (if it's a some sort of social function).  If it's because you're socially awkward I can sort of understand.  But mostly I think it's due to some sort of arrogance.

Chinese grandmas will point these sorts of things out.  I know because my po po does.  And you don't want to end on the wrong side of a grandma's favor.  But mostly (and in all seriousness), a quality person will value another person's presence.  Watch for this.  It might just negate the need for those dumb tests.

I Don't Mean to Be Rude.

I used to bag on my mom for making her feelings rather obvious whenever she encountered someone she didn't like.  'Just pretend you like them!' was my advice.  Not that I wanted her to be sickingly sweet, either.  But just to be nice is a start.

To my disdain I've realized in recent months that I do this too.  I'm not that nice sometimes.  I think I'm a good enough actress not to make it glaringly obvious to the other person, but who knows?  I know who my favorite people are, and who...aren't.   To my defense I think that the why for me in being nice was lacking.  If I don't like you, why should I be nice to you? 

Perhaps it's not that the why was lacking, but my failure to see that each individual has dignity.   This is not to say that there aren't people you have to muster up greater courage to love, but that somehow in response to the fellowship accorded to broken man from the Triune God, our relationships are transformed.  Because my deservedness is but for grace.

So be nice, kiddos.  Because you really mean it.

Ode to Texas.

I found a new solidarity with Texas when I visited the state capitol a few weeks ago.  There was a lot of  hype, but CW told me not to get my hopes up lest I get disappointed.  But people have been saying to me Austin this and Austin that since I've gotten here.

Well (drum roll...) Austin is really cool.  Kind of like California (but not really).  Starting on the drive over (it's 3 hours from Dallas).  We stopped in West, Texas where you can get Czech kolaches and Shell gasoline.  Weird.  Like hey I need a filler-up and while I'm at it, order me a pastry!  Then we had lunch at Mother's, where you have waitresses with nose rings and arm pit hair serving up salads.  I visited the UT Austin campus which has a vague Berkeley-esque feel...sort of.  But everywhere was branded the longhorn so I quickly got over that. 

Before having the best fish tacos EVER, we took a ride with CW's friend who drives a Mini-Cooper convertible.  Dude, that girl can really drive.   I think that adrenaline spilled over into the next day when we ran the Capitol 10K.  It rained the entire time which was rather annoying and made my no-slip headband slippery.  But we finished with a time I was well pleased with (just under an hour).   Oh and something I realized - contrary to everyone and their mother running marathons these days, running just isn't cool for the AZN's here.  Hm.

I'd be remiss not to mention our free pie.  Maybe it is tacky, but when you post a sign that says "the pie's on us if you don't get a receipt" the Chinese in me can't resist.  Or is that the pie lover in me?  No receipt?  Result = Free $10 Pie!

I have just two more stories to tell, of bats and cats.  First, bats - those winged, nocturnal creatures, yes.  Austin has the largest urban colony of bats that live under one of the bridges in town.  Weird, or should I say, just batty.  Second, cats - or just one, rather - named Jolie.  Jolie got her annual shave-down during our visit, giving new meaning to the name scaredy cat.  

Pictures of my fabulous trip below.


Mm...Czech kolaches on the road!


No armpit hair in the salad (I checked).


Go Ags! (oops, wrong school)


The Mini-Cooper...still a close second to the VW (convertible) bug.
 

These fish tacos are seriously the BEST.


The free pie.


Them bats.


And that cat.

Spring Fever.

Spring is officially here, and is that green I see again?  I take it as a sign that spring is here from the allergy sufferers (my sympathies) and the fact a layer of dust has settled on my car from all the stuff that's blowing in the air.  I guess I need to get that car wash I've been putting off for, um, 6+ months.

With spring comes the anticipation of new things ahead.  My time in Dallas will come to an end soon, but not before I endure what I hear is a dreadfully hot summer.  Fortunately (or not) I'll be indoors mostly because of summer school.   It will be the first time that I've done summer school, believe it or not. 

Other firsts I'm not so sure yet.  I did have a first round of CA visitors, who seemed all too eager to leave again to return home.  Always good to have a bit of home with you though.  I did soak in Dallas as never before with their coming.  Now back to those papers.

Beauty.

It's said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  I won't dispute that.  My question is how do we even know something of beauty?

When I say 'beauty' I mean more than just pleasing the senses.  Beauty is what we distinguish from the plain or ordinary.  Moreover, it is beauty's complete otherness that is compelling.  Especially when juxtaposed with the ugly.  My belief is that what we know of beauty comes from One who is completely other.  Thus when I say God is beautiful, I am saying He completely stands out from all else.  This is clear when we look at what humanity has wrought, and more so the mess I've made.  I long for His beauty even more.   Trouble is, many don't know a beautiful thing when they see it (beauty, after all, being in the eye of the beholder), and it's a terrible thing to be in the presence of Beauty and not know it. 

The Art of Conversation.

I don't mean to outdo Miss Manners.  I really don't.  This will be my last entry on etiquette for awhile (promise!).  Today's topic is how to make conversation.  It really bugs me when men and women alike are bad conversationalists.  I know this is rather snobbish because when it comes to awkward, yours truly is the first that comes to mind.  But since I'm on my rant I might as well finish.  Top 5 things that irk me during conversations:

1. Shifty eyes.  "Shifty" kind of implies devious, and I don't necessarily mean that here.  I'm referring to lack of eye contact with the speaker.  Why is it so hard for some people to maintain eye contact? There's something wrong when a person can't look you in the eye.  I don't think I'm that scary, am I?  (Don't answer that).
   
2. Looking too intently.  This is the opposite of #1.  Don't be creepy.  Please don't.  It's scary when you look like your following the conversation a little too closely.
3. Cutting someone off.  This is, in effect, to feign comprehension by cutting the speaker short by saying something like "yeah, yeah, yeah."  Well wait a minute.  I didn't even finish my sentence yet.  My next sentence could be I want Bozo the Clown to be President.  Wait until I'm finished before you agree.  Especially irritating when combined with #1.
4. You're boring.  I don't have a better descriptor for what I mean by 'boring.'  You're boring if you have flat intonations.  You're boring if you can't manage to redirect a question back to the speaker.  You're boring if you only talk about some esoteric subject matter that few care about.  You're boring if you don't smile or crack a joke.  A little humor, people!
   
5. Talk too much*  I'd love to get a word in edgewise with these people, but they seem to own the spotlight all to themselves.  I'm not here to compete with you, talk all you want.  But if it bugs me you've likely bugged others, too.

* The asterisk is to say that I am guilty of this when I feel particularly awkward with someone.  That is, I tend to babble about this and that if I can avoid the even more awkward silence that comes when the conversation comes to a standstill. And I'm not a babbler.  So that bugs me.

Here concludes Miss Manners' entry on the art of conversation - perhaps needing the title, How Not to Converse with Someone, namely me :). 

Let's Shake on It.

After a few awkward handshakes last week I feel the need to educate on this very fine etiquette, which can turn weird in an instant.

Shaking hands is ok for:

• First time meetings.
  
• VIP's and other higher-ups.
• When instructed to meet and greet.
• Congratulations.
• Sportsmanship.
• When guys greet each other (Ever notice? Girls just don't shake hands with each other)
  

To hug or not to hug?  Not for me to tackle in this entry.

The Finer Things in Life.

I think people actually pay attention to what I write here.  I got body wash and floss in the mail this week.  Did I mention that I also appreciate the finer things in life?  In the form of say, fine jewelry? 

I also received two beautiful cashmere sweaters this week.  Sometimes I honestly don't know what to do with a generous gift.  This was a gift from my family, and I know that I shared two entries ago that we don't normally exchange gifts.  But my mom really wanted to get me something.  I would never think of shunning such a gift, though I'm satisfied with toothpaste.  Especially from those who really love you and want to give you good gifts. 

There's some good theology tucked in there.

Blast from the Past.

A couple of years ago I hid my previous entries before going overseas (pre-August 2005).  For those in need of extra reading, I'm making a slow release of those old entries.

The Art of Gift Giving.

When my sister and I collaborate, we're the fastest Christmas shoppers in the west.  We're a great pair when it comes to tackling the packed-out malls in the last days before Christmas.  Does this sweater work for Auntie So-and So?  Let's get fleece for Uncle X.  Grandpa gets another blanket. 

We always buy gifts for the relatives at Christmas.  But for my immediate family and I we don't normally exchange gifts.  For birthdays, we don't have a tradition of gift-giving either.  I think this has influenced much of my philosophy of receiving gifts.  Seriously, I'm perfectly fine if you give me a bottle of shampoo as a gift.  I'm a pragmatist.  I know that ruins the fun for those who like to give gifts.  But I'd rather something that I can consume.  

You may conclude that I don't like gifts at all.  Or some of you may be rethinking the gifts you've given in the past.  Au contraire.  I love that I have friends and family that care to give me gifts.   That, if you excuse the cheese, is the gift in itself.

I expect that bottles of shampoo may come my way soon.  Hint: I enjoy dental floss, too.