My Ann Taylor purple 3/4 sleeve top received three compliments today. I should tally which outfits from my closet are the most highly complimented (since I'm super interested like that). On another note, I actually don't think that I'm a good compliment-giver. I'm not sure quite why that is. Is it that I don't notice when people look nice? I don't think so. Is it the whole introvert thing where I silently make note in my head, but never voice it?

I also received an anti-compliment today, which I won't call an insult because it wasn't - just what I'll label the anti-compliment. The question posed was "are you tired?" Followed with the observation "because your eyes look different." Yes, I was tired, and yes, perhaps my already moon-shaped eyes were smaller slivers than usual. What to say when someone offers the anti-compliment? Hm. Summary: Compliments 3, Anti-Compliment 1

I had 7 people come through my door at various points throughout the day. I still have one guest sitting next to me who just subscribed to my blog. Another reader!

Today I made two meals, the second one I wasn't planning on. I would say it was pretty ghetto. I was thrust a crumbled paper bag with ingredients and told "Here...you cook." I almost forgot - on the paper bag was scribbled "Michael."

Since I'm talking about people who came through my door I might as well highlight questions I was asked:

"So what do you do again?"
"Can I use your bathroom?"
"Are you seeing anyone?"
"How long were you unemployed for?"
"How do I insert a picture onto Powerpoint?"

So I have a fat bruise on my leg because I decided to do something today that combined two things I happen to be excellent at: public speaking and coordination of limbs on a moving vehicle. I am, of course, being sarcastic. When it came time to volunteer to be a tour guide for our school's Ultra City Bus Tour, yours truly agreed to it, partially out of guilt for being the lone native San Franciscan amongst my coworkers.

I told the bus load of students that I only moonlight as a tour guide - I hope they kept that in mind as I clumsily moved about the cabin of the bus (resembling something like a monkey in a zoo). I didn't have a microphone, and so had to shout over the noisy whir of the engine. The bruise occurred on a pass between the front and back of the bus. I tried not to let on how hard I had hit myself while still continuing my tour guide spiel. It wasn't until later when I got home that I discovered that I had returned with battle wounds.

It really wasn't as bad as I'm making it sound. I just love the attention that self-pity garners.

I just got off the phone with a dear, dear friend of mine (who happens to stalk my blog). We connect on many fronts - I like that she understands what a dork I am (she'll admit to being one herself) and my love of the precise and beautiful. She is easy to get deep with, and perhaps this is why to me she is such a gem. I can be raw with her (and she with me) and I know that she listens with a true knowing of me. I can't say that of a lot of people.

We have spent most of our lives apart since when we met in college, and our individual experiences have not been the same. But somehow we still get each other, and still have an uncanny sense of when to give the other person a ring. I still amount it to her intuition, even if other recent tests have shown otherwise :)

Today I got a brand spankin' new 24-inch (!) Mac at work. It replaces the antiquated machines that our department has been operating from, which has been the source of much frustration in the past. I really love my new Mac! For one, my office is a lot quieter. Gone is the incessant hum of my old machine. It was almost an eerie silence as I realized how loud my voice projected on the phone without the background noise. Secondly, I have new found space on my desk - no more clunky tower which means more room for my snacks!

The thing with getting something new is that the novelty wears off easily. It's kind of scary to realize how things grow old so quickly, and you just become used to the next thing. I so want that same appreciation as when it was new, and you remember all the bad about having the old. I can think of so many things for which this is true.

It's completely normal for me to have a million things running through my head at a given moment. One of the million today is who it is that I declare first in my life, and if that First is truly primary, how do I respond? I should be more loving, kind, gentle - and certainly, the humility I spoke of a couple of entries ago should be in great supply. I should always give thanks, never bitter or envious. I should have outright faith, without doubt. I should be free of worry, insecurity, and fear.

But I'm so not those things sometimes. Even in the last week, I saw myself acting contrary to how I know I ought. What gets me is where this realization eventually takes me - that I am forever indebted to that First, who is my greatest help and makes me more of those things I should be. As I lament my own imperfection, I become more of what I sought - because of him who has saved me from myself.

In my mind there is little else that beats San Francisco on a clear, warm day. This morning I took a run to the reservoir that is nicely nestled between 28th and 27th Avenues (O/P). It really is a hidden gem. Standing on top of the reservoir you get a gorgeous view of the Golden Gate Bridge with the Pacific Ocean to the west. The only downer is that I have to run uphill practically the entire way to get there.

I'm trying to take more time out to just enjoy, even if it means if I have to work at it.

One of the qualities I admire most is humility. In so many ways I lack it - always needing the approval of others to feel competent, accomplished, or worthy. It impresses me each time I find someone who doesn't need this to thrive, or feel valued. There is much to be said when you are those things but don't say it.

Humility is also attractive in another regard - as a necessary measure of authenticity. If humility is what I most admire, than being fake is something I loathe. I need people who are real around me. None of this fake stuff, or pretending to be something that you're not.

I speak mostly to myself, needing the application of humility in almost every part of my life (help!).

Compared to yesterday, my day started out much better. For one, the sun was out. It does wonders for my mood when the fog lifts. I also got to roll into work an hour later than usual, and that extra hour was huge. It meant that I could sit down and eat my oatmeal and do more than just brush my hair before leaving the house.

The middle part of my day was mostly spent mixing it up with school faculty at our faculty development conference. Put me behind a table, give me something to talk about (along with some freebie jolly ranchers), and I just might appear the extrovert (for a few hours, anyway).

I got home and decided to ask my dad to go to Home Depot. He helped me pick out a plant and he got his shopping items, too. Home Depot is a place not to be attempted alone (for me, anyways). I like when my dad tries to consult me even though he knows I'm completely clueless.

I tuned into the Giants game and cringed as the score went to 9-0, in the D'backs favor. Maybe not the best end to a day, but certainly, it was a pretty good day.

Sometimes I can be pretty reluctant to commit to things. I think I don't like the pressure of needing to fulfill what I commit to, or live up to an expectation. Part of this is the whole perfectionism thing in me. Yet there's something to be said of when you say you'll do something, you do it well. I need to figure out a balance between the two.

I agreed (admittedly, a bit half-heartedly) to my co-worker that I would run a half marathon. She said she would keep me accountable (and I do well with this pressure). I still dragged my feet on signing myself up for the race, but I eventually did (tonight). I'll be running the US Half! Not, however, at the speed of the alvonator, who is also running. This may be my first long race attempted alone. Unless...anyone want to run with me?